ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
