ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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