The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize