I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize