Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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