Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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