Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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