honey bunches of taint.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize