The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
