everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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