I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
