i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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