Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
