Define "chronic" masturbator.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
