my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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