Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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