these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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