I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
