No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
