he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
