idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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