does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
