tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I touched a dick in church today
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
