Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
