My brain says no but my pants say off.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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