You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
tell me about the fingering
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
