Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
