BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
