as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
