the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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