so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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