i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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