I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
