don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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