I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
