i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
