Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
