So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize