she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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