You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
