wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize