Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
