so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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