Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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