after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
