Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
