i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
