u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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