every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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