You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She bit a glass in half.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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