the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Vodka?
Forever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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