nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
