I feel like I'm in dance class right now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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