Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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