is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
