what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
